Right, so I’ve been reading loads about Facebook and how it is addictive and how it is THE online networking spot for people like me, who are just that bit too old for MySpace and WAY too old for Bebo.
The thing is, I’m a bit confused about the etiquette of it. Do my Facebook friends have to be people I actually know in real life? I don’t want to go poking people if they’re going to think I’m some demented web stalker.
What about people I haven’t seen for ages and ages? Have spotted two people on there I used to work with five or six years ago? Can I add them as friends? Should I? Then there’s the college thing. There are only two people from my undergrad class in DCU on there and, although they were perfectly nice people, I have scarcely seen them since leaving college. Would it be weird to add them as friends?
I’ve been wondering about all this and then today I saw Twenty’s rather denigrating comment about Facebook. That made me think twice at all about bothering trying to gather together some Facebook buddies…until I realised that he has 27 Facebook friends so he obviously doesn’t hate it that much.
After all of that, I checked my mail tonight to find that Damien has added me as a friend. At last, I have a Facebook friend! Oh, the validation of it all. Happy days.
So add me if you know me. Or even sort of know me. There are a bunch of Kathy Foleys on there. I’m the one (illogically enough) with an enormous Canadian Mountie bear.
14 Comments
July 20, 2007 at 11:59 pm
I’ve seen so much about this Facebook lark but have never ventured there.
You have prompted me to take the plunge.
If I regret it, I know who to blame
July 21, 2007 at 12:07 am
Well, I’m blaming the bottle of Bordeaux I had this evening. In this game of pass-the-buck, let’s see who it blames!
I feel like I have a buddy in this unknown territory now…let’s see how we get on
July 21, 2007 at 4:33 am
A Bebo by any other name …
That said, just add them. As is the case with blogs, permission to link need not be requested.
I use neither Facebook nor MySpace but I prefer the latter – It is searchable by non-members.
July 21, 2007 at 8:03 am
[...] I blame Kathy Foley. [...]
July 21, 2007 at 11:52 am
I’m the other extreme. If I don’t know the person (even vaguely) I’ll not link.
With the exception of people on FaceBook with the same name as me, there hasn’t been a “friend request” from someone I don’t know. LinkedIn had contacts, which is a less emotive word than friends.
So as for the ex-DCU-ers … If you KNEW them, then there is no problem with FaceBook-Friending them (unless you knew them enough to not want to link to them).
You need to decide if FaceBook is going to be work, play or a bit of everything. At least this way, in theory, you won’t loose contact with them again.
Oh, and poking is a way to let someone you don’t know see your private profile. I can see the use if you “think” you know someone e.g. John Murphy and think they might know you.
Sounds rude doesn’t it?
July 21, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Oh dear, just as I feared, there is no clear etiquette!
Will, a bit of everything seems like the best way to go. Mind you, can’t bring myself to go poking people yet. It does, indeed, sound rude.
I can’t imagine running after someone I thought I recognised on Grafton St, physically poking them and whispering, “Hey, do you want to look at my CV?”
July 21, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Yup – no real etiquette, just add away. What does the poke thing do though? Can you check someone out that way? There are loads of people I’d like to take a peek at but not add – old boyfriends and the like, but don’t want them to know I’m looking!!
July 23, 2007 at 9:15 am
I think the poke thing allows you to allow someone else (the “pokee”) to see your profile for a week ie if you think that’s the John Smith you know, you can poke them, they can see your profile and add you as a friend.
Sadly it doesn’t allow you read other people’s profiles
Meanwhile, I am now officially addicted to Facebook…
July 23, 2007 at 2:16 pm
This is how I view the various social networks I’m on:
MySpace – total free for all, add as many people as you like, strangers, bands, whatever
Bebo – my profile is private, so it’s only for friends
Facebook – a little more grown up, for some friends, colleagues, and people who added me through my blog.
Hope this helps? I still don’t really get Facebook though, not really into it.
I don’t like the ‘poking’ thing. Someone poked me the other day and I thought it was a little rude. It’s strangely flirtatious, but in a confrontational manner, I think. The food fight application is good though, *throws block of cheese*
July 23, 2007 at 10:33 pm
My take is that it’s up to you and how much privacy you want. I have all my privacy settings maxed out, but have no hard and fast rules about who gets in as a friend. Nosy, annoying people, even if I know them very well, won’t make the cut, because I just don’t want some people tracking my every move.
But no, there’s no real rulebook for Facebook.
I also wrote a piece here recently about how your Bebo/Myspace/Facebook presence can screw you over when you go looking for a job, with recruiters Googling people, then trawling for them on Bebo, etc, to vet them in terms of personality. Plenty of execs are either being rejected or even fired because of what appears on their personal sites. Your CV may be stellar, but if there’s a photo of you on Bebo with a hooker in one hand and a bag of white powder in the other, you’re unlikely to get the keys to the executive washroom. Or very likely – it depends on the boss. So be careful.
July 24, 2007 at 11:25 am
@Una – Yes, thanks, that does help make things clearer, although I’m not on Bebo and have never got into MySpace. It’s so ugly it offends my eyes, although I realise I should get past the look of it.
Oh, and you can food fight on Facebook? Yay, or indeed yaysies as you would say yourself.
@Markham – In all honesty, the chances of me ending up in the Bebo/hooker/coke scenario are slim but I could see how other content could be embarrassing.
July 25, 2007 at 9:29 pm
I’ve just signed up to Facebook so this post has been very useful… we’ll see how it goes. I’ve never been great at this social networking malarky!
September 13, 2007 at 4:42 am
My facebook account, will not let me comment, message or change my status, anything to that nature. Please help me.
September 13, 2007 at 8:24 am
Don’t really know, Katie – try playing with the settings on your privacy page. Once you are logged in, click privacy in the top right hand corner and take it from there…
@Dave – hope you are enjoying it!