Kathy Foley

You may have noticed there is an election campaign in full swing. Then again, you may not and nobody would blame you. The election for Seanad Eireann is a low-key affair. No-one is really sure what it actually does although it seems to be some sort of cross between freemasonry and Toastmasters International.

As it’s such a mystery, a cut-out-and-keep guide to the upper house of our parliamentary democracy might prove useful.

What happens in the Seanad?
Very little. Senators sit about on comfy leather seats and engage in witty badinage. Unlike the upper houses of parliament in other countries, our senate cannot veto bills from the lower house. It can merely delay them a little. If the Dail passed a bill forcing all citizens to wear yellow hats and blue shoes, the Seanad could object in the strongest possible terms and put the whole plan off for a few weeks. That would give us just enough time to dye our hats and spray paint our shoes.

How many senators are there?
Sixty, but only three or four famous ones. Senators tend to be low-profile and shun public attention. For all you know, some of your best friends could be senators. If they didn’t tell you, you’d never be any the wiser. The main exception is the adorably fruity Sen David Norris, who is often on the telly. Sometimes our senators go to America, where they are celebrated everywhere they go. This is because Americans confuse their sort of senators, who are very influential, with our sort, who aren’t.

Can I elect a senator?
It depends. Graduates of Trinity and the National University of Ireland colleges elect six senators. People like me, who went to some other university, can’t vote, even though 28 years ago a constitutional amendment was passed to allow us to do so. People who didn’t go to university can’t vote either. Evidently the founding fathers of our state did not believe the grubby and uneducated proletariat could be trusted to have a say in the makeup of the Seanad. Sitting senators, TDs and county councillors, no matter how grubby and uneducated they are, can vote. Between them they choose 43 senators. The Taoiseach picks 11. His level of grubbiness and education is also considered immaterial.

How much do senators earn?
More than €60,000 a year, which would lead you to believe it must be a very demanding job. Actually, they only work on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Some, including Shane Ross, manage to have separate full-time jobs.

Can I stand for election to the Seanad?
If you want to run for election by the graduates, 10 of them must nominate you. The 43 senators voted for by our public representatives come from five vocational panels, such as agriculture and labour. In theory, a candidate should have knowledge and expertise of one of these specialist fields. In reality, you haven’t a hope of getting onto a panel unless you are a member of a political party. Even then, you have to get either an inside nomination, meaning your party nominates you, or an outside nomination from one of a motley crew of 103 nominating bodies. They include the Dental Council, the Royal Society of Antiquaries of Ireland, the Irish Grain and Feed Association, the Association of Patent and Trade Mark Attorneys and the Irish Kidney Association.

So if you’re in some high-powered dentists, you might have a chance of getting nominated.

In the same way that magicians bamboozle their audience with distracting patter to hide the fact they are not actually doing any magic, the election process is incredibly complicated to disguise the fact the Seanad is pretty much pointless.

How do Seanad candidates canvass votes?
Graduates are canvassed at wine-and-cheese evenings and dinner parties, mostly in the nicer Dublin suburbs. Candidates seeking the votes of public representatives try to visit the homes of as many politicians as possible in a few weeks. It’s often a case of the unelectable chasing the unspeakable. The candidates give the politicians presents like pens, bottles of whisky or tickets to GAA matches. Then the politicians vote for whoever their party tells them to. It’s democracy but not as most countries know it.

Should the Seanad be abolished?
The Progressive Democrats certainly called for its abolition 20 years ago but then some of their members became senators. They don’t call for its abolition nowadays. Although the Seanad as it stands is bordering on useless, it is important to have a system of checks and balances in place and a second house of parliament can provide that.

Should the Seanad be reformed?
Yes, but we’ll be waiting. There have been numerous reports on Seanad reform, the last in 2004, but none have been implemented. It is currently gathering dust somewhere in Leinster House. Ireland’s second house should be directly elected, with all adults entitled to vote. It should operate on a non-party system and it should have the power of veto. None of this will happen, of course, because rescuing the Seanad from its archaic slumbers would mean the end of jobs for the boys. And as long as the opinion of county councillors and grain merchants is considered more important than ours, that’s not going to happen.